If a battered woman leaves their residence, she should take her children with her. She should not leave them with the abuser. She may face difficulty or delays in getting custody of the children if they are left with the abuser. If the victim has already left the house, but can go back to get the children safely, she should do so immediately, if she feels that she or her children are in imminent danger, she should call the police and have them accompany her to retrieve the children and/or personal belongings.
Characteristics of the male batterer:
Jealousy (often imagines wife is having affairs)
Tries to isolate and control wife
Jekyll and Hyde personalities
May have other problems with the law
Explosive temper; flies into a rage without provocation
Blames wife for everything, even his own faults
Verbally assaults wife (insults, put downs, name calling)
Denies or claims he can’t remember the beatings or their severity
Will drive wife away, then do anything to get her back. He may apologize profusely, send her flowers, or lavish her with gifts
Once wife returns, the cycle continues
Many batterers may have been raised in violent homes, growing up believing that hurting people is normal. People with this point of view most likely have issues in dealing with conflict and use violence to deal with their anger.